Mum's the word.

Oy. It would seem that my mother has had another TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) - basically a mini-stroke that happens when blood flow to the brain is temporarily blocked. No permanent damage to the brain, but these attacks (which her doctors only recently diagnosed) tend to leave her already changeable disposition in a depressive, anxious state, so it's been rough on that home front.

I know that she'd love to be involved in some of the wedding tasks, but I'm hesitant to add to her burden. While on one hand, some little job might raise her spirits, and make her feel closer to the proceedings, I don't want to feel as if I'm imposing, or draining her of her already depleted resources. In addition to her emotional difficulties, she's also various physical disabilities including rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, sciatica, and a whole host of other chronic ailments. I couldn't stand the notion that anything I'd ask of her would result in further debilitation, but at the same time, she'd no doubt be hurt if she were left out. Where is the middle ground? Advice, anyone?

There is also a very real possibility that she won't be able to make it to the wedding. It's happened before - my parents phoning with regrets a day or two before an event, as my mother has had an anxiety-related collapse, and they feel it's best if they don't travel. I've found that it's best to just temper my expectations, and I try not to let her know that I'm upset because really - who would that help? But still - it's sad as hell when that happens, and while my first concern is going to be with her health and well-being, I kinda can't stop thinking about how suck-tastic it would be to have anyone feel sorry for me at our wedding. We shall just hope that does not come to pass.

Posted by Kat at July 26, 2006 03:47 PM