August 30, 2006

Mr. Smoove regrets.

Girl, Smoove Will Not Be Able To Attend Your Wedding
By Smoove B — Love Man

"Girl, while it has been almost two years since we broke apart, not
a second goes by that you are not on my mind. As I have written
many times in my column, the thought of you spending time naked
next to this other man has caused me nothing but pain.

...Why, then, would I receive a letter asking me to attend your
upcoming wedding to this man? This man who is no good for you.
This man who can only get into one tenth of the hottest clubs I
can. This man who you admit focuses only on heart-healthy dishes,
while I had seduced your body and mind by creating the most
sumptuous dishes known to this world. Is this how you want to

...Also, I have decided to write my response to you in this column,
as there was not room on the reply card to say all that was in my
heart, the heart that has been breaking ever since you left.

...It was a pain that was too much for even Smoove to bear.

Smoove wept..."


Posted by Kat at August 30, 2006 01:47 PM
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