September 24, 2006

Better wedding through chemistry.

Measures taken to forestall/temper pre-wedding anxiety attacks in the past several days:

1. Walking laps in the flower cooler at the Chelsea Flower Market
2. Fondling an unfilled Ativan prescription
3. Fantasizing about tripping the small child chatteringchatteringchattering and spinningspinningspinning 'round the subway pole directly in front of me
4. Entering a rubber stamp store and wandering within for the better part of an hour
5. Applying the aformentioned technique to stores dollar and grocery
6. Sauvignon Blanc
7. Determining which household rabbit would protest least violently and then clutching the selected candidate to my bosom whilst wandering around the bedroom and muttering
8. Apple Cider - meet Jim Beam. Jim Beam - meet Apple Cider.
9. Obsessively twisting bits of gold and red wire with needle-nose pliers
10. Smiling/nodding | nodding/smiling
11. Applying aforementioned (but slightly modified) rabbit technique to household dogs
12. Lorazepam! Lorazepam! Lorazepam!
13. Singing frequently, deliriously, and loudly to and about household dogs
14. Singing frequently, deliriously, and loudly to and about fiancé
15. Ativan and The Jesus & Mary Chain
16. Ativan and The Sugarcubes
17. Ativan and The Smiths
18. Having a fiancé who is still fully willing to remain such even after (and maybe even in part because of) occurrences like #14

Posted by Kat at September 24, 2006 01:27 PM