October 25, 2006

Flu-ing and cooped.

Palpable difference between my being married and my not being married:

Always before when I was sick, I would hide from partners. Semi-instinctively as it's humbling to be barfy/snotty/etc. before anyone who you'd also like to at some point put their face in special places, and also because I've had partners who've made fun of me for saying I was sick and then when I left a message from the ER (as instructed by my insurance company) noting my advanced strep throat, FINALLY met up with me as I was leaving, bought me some egg-drop soup and high-tailed it outta there, and thus I haven't been exactly prone to looking toward that quadrant for respite.

Heck - even a year ago, when Douglas and I weren't even living together yet, I couldn't summon the wherewithal to call him when ill - even though he'd have flung all asunder to come and nurse me to health. That would have entailed a show of weakness and, Baal forbid, letting him into my deeply unsanitary apartment, and I wasn't ready yet.

And now, two and a half weeks married, flattened by some vile bug that's robbed me of any ability to regulate my body temperature or, say, blink my eyes without wincing, I know he'll be home soon, and I want that. Yes, I know he's required to by, like, law or something, and I'm probably not smelling my utter rosiest what with all the sweating, but I don't care, and he's lovely and gracious enough to pretend that he doesn't, either.

My beloved sister has been asking me what married life is like. I think that covers a good bit of it right there.

Posted by Kat at 07:23 PM

October 23, 2006


In a semi-futile attempt to not burn up upon re-entry to the non-wedding-centric/post-honeymoon world, one night last week, Douglas and I decided to bar the door and just en-tater ourselves. Neither of us is especially gifted in the loll-about department, so we just stared blankly at each other for a bit.

Me: Well, we could cuddle for a bit. I hear married people do that.

Douglas: Cuddling's good.

Me: (sniffing the air) Or we could wash the dog's ass.

Douglas: (sniffing, and grimacing) Yeah, we should probably do that.

Ahhh...nuptial bliss. The glamour of it all.

Posted by Kat at 04:17 PM

October 20, 2006

Piccing and grinning.


That smashing Mlle Iacono done shared her pictorial genius with us right 'chere.

Posted by Kat at 03:32 PM

October 18, 2006

Today's maritally-related literary punch to the gut.

We gave Ms. Alison Dorfman free rein as to what she'd like to read in our ceremony, and she surprised us with this, as A. She's well acquainted with my unfettered devotion to Frank O'Hara and B. Girlfriend has exquisite poetical leanings. She really couldn't have chosen any better.


by Frank O'Hara

When I am feeling depressed and anxious sullen
all you have to do is take off your clothes
and all is wiped away revealing life's tenderness
that we are flesh and breathe and are near us
as you are really as you are I become as
I really am alive and knowing vaguely what is
and what is important to me above the intrusions
of incident and accidental relationships
which have nothing to do with my life.

When I am in your presence I feel life is strong
and will defeat all its enemies and all of mine
and all of yours and yours in you and mine in me
sick logic and feeble reasoning are cured
by the perfect symmetry of your arms and legs
spread out making an eternal circle together
creating a golden pillar beside the Atlantic
the faint line of hair dividing your torso
gives my mind rest and emotions their release
into the infinite air where since once we are
together we always will be in this life come what may

Posted by Kat at 06:37 AM

October 17, 2006


Oh - for those of you who don't know how we met: personals.nerve.com.

That interweb thing sure is handy, no? I bet it'll really take off one of these days.

From my ad...

More About What I Am Looking For:

You are kind. Oh goodness, you are kind. You're also brilliant, hilarious, adored by your friends, passionate and memorable.

You know the difference between 'your' & 'you're' and 'it's' & 'its' and it drives you nuts when people confuse them. You'd never even dream of pluralizing with an apostrophe.

You don't spit in public or think of sweatpants as potential dinnerwear. You also shower. Frequently. With soap, even.

You're nice to the waiter and tip well.

You're not afraid to melt for me sometimes.

You've got a big, nasty brain and you're not shy about using it.

You know what you're doing in the kitchen, the bedroom and the library, and ideally do NOT own a Nintendo, Playstation or whatever machine the kids are into these days.

You think a good blend of autonomy and affectionate solidarity seems pretty ideal.

Ask, and ye shall receive, no?

Posted by Kat at 03:32 PM

Dear in the headlights.


Posted by Kat at 10:23 AM

October 16, 2006

Beaued over.

IMG_7092n2_sm.jpgYa know what sucks about having a bunch of your bestest girlfriends pretty you up, cinch you into an epically poofy dress, and send you into a room filled with a bunch of your most favorite people in the universe, then declaring your mutual eternal love with the most glorious man you've ever met, eating heavenly food, dancing and laughing for hours, and then spending nearly a week driving around an utterly fairytale-borne countryside exploring castles with the aforementioned gentleman?

Absolutely nothing.

(Many thanks to Mlle Adair Iacono for the pic!)

Posted by Kat at 04:38 PM

October 13, 2006

Baa. Humbug.

We're nearly done with your Douglas and Kat, now that we've crammed them chock a block with castles (Harlech, Pehnryn, Beaumaris, Conwy, etc.), countryside, cheese (Red Leicester, Welsh Cheddar, Wensleydale), and adult-style cuddling (we had little to do with that part), and shall send them back posthaste.

Be gentle with them upon their return. We've been busy pulling ourselves over their eyes, and whatnot.

Woolenly yours,

The Sheep of Snowdonia, Wales

Posted by Kat at 12:29 PM

October 11, 2006

On the lamb.

We have your Douglas and Kat in our care, are feeding them the cheeses, crags, castles and estuaries they need to recover from the most astonishing weekend of their lives. We'll release them into your care once we feel they've suitably calmed.

They report that they miss and adore you all.

Kindest regards,

The Sheep of Snowdonia, Wales

Posted by Kat at 09:41 AM

Honorable fermention.

As written by the estimable Pete Wells and Susan Choi and performed by them, along with the lovely and talented Steven Stern at our nuptials:

Kat and Douglas have asked us to help them celebrate their union with
the ritual of cheese and rye whiskey. We thought we could explain the
significance of these two items with a brief history of the human

10,000 years ago, in the Fertile Crescent around the Tigris and
Euphrates Rivers, the Mesopotamians discovered beer. This exciting
new way to drink was found because the Mesopotamians had formed the
world's first agrarian society. Instead of scrounging around for
berries and slow-moving animals for dinner, these ancient people
tended livestock and grew their own grain.

It's likely that some of their stored grain got wet and began to
ferment on its own. Some hardy soul drank the frothy brew: beer.
And so it happened that the invention of alcoholic beverages was one
of the first benefits of leaving behind a nomadic life of aimless
wandering to settle down in one place.

It wasn't until much later - about 1,000 years ago - that we made the
next huge leap forward in bibulous culture, when the Arabs invented
distillation. Now fermented grain (like rye) could be boiled and
recondensed, making a new substance that was stronger, more pure, and
capable of enduring for years - and sometimes even of improving with

Fermentation is also one of the secrets of cheese making, a way to
keep milk from spoiling by turning it into something stronger, richer,
and capable of improving with age.

Taking simple ingredients like grain of rye or warm cow's milk and
transforming them into something completely new was, in a sense, the
beginning of cuisine. Humans were no longer creatures who ate to stay
alive. Now we ate for pleasure.

And this meant that we no longer tore at joints of meat in jealous
solitude. It was the beginning of enjoying our food together, sitting
down to celebrate the enormous fortune of having something delicious
to share with another person.

Kat and Douglas, as the ancient Mesopotamians once shared fermented
grain from a common cup at their highest celebrations, we ask you to
drink this rye whiskey and eat this aged gouda in honor of your
momentous decision to settle down and tend your livestock and your
crops together.

Posted by Kat at 09:37 AM

October 06, 2006

A flayed knot.

Objectives for today:

1. Do not actually claw off own skin, even if prospect thereof seems especially appealing. Would appear most curious in tomorrow's wedding photos.

2. Hiding/pretending to be a wedding guest - not actually an option.

3. After honeymoon, look into patenting delicious new Ativan/bourbon smoothie/intravenous system.

Posted by Kat at 07:22 AM

October 03, 2006


I just spoke with my niece. Or rather, she's not yet, but she will be as of Saturday. Amazing what getting proposed to does for you. Not only do you get a free ring, and free cake, but also sometimes you get free nieces! Sorta like a gift with purchase - especially when they're near your age and really don't mind a margarita or two, and you actively enjoy gulping tequila in their company.

I suppose that means I'll be an aunt. Is there a handbook for that? Some code of propriety, or do I have to wear a girdle on various Moravian holidays?

It's all so very new to me.

Posted by Kat at 01:15 PM

Tulleing around.

Cannot. Stop. Crafting.

Rather than having lost myself in a shimmering sea of tulle, I rather think I've just been reduced to my essential self. Kinda like a balsamic glaze, only with a glue gun and a tray full of bugle beads. When left to my own devices (I'm up at the Church with the dogs and Claudette the rabbit) for any length of time, I tend to make objects, bake things, stay up all night, sing songs to inanimate objects, and watch Turner Classic Movies. Not only is there a tick in every one of those boxes, but currently they're in overlapping scrawls in gold metallic ink and lightly dusted with glitter.

Someone best come and rescue me soon lest I actually implode in a wheezing puff of red organza ribbon and FloraLife, and Douglas must instead wed Claudette (though I suspect she's been plotting that all along - I heard her demanding carats at one point), 'Cause after all - we oughtn't let that much reception goulash and red velvet cake to go to waste.

Posted by Kat at 11:13 AM

October 02, 2006

Objectively speaking.

Objectives for wedding day:

1. Do not vomit on bridegroom.

2. Do my very very best not to use the words "fuck" or "splosh" in my wedding vows. At least not on purpose.

3. Try not to accidentally puncture anyone's flesh with a corsage pin. At least not on purpose.

If I can accomplish these three things, perhaps everyone will have an exceptionally adequate time at our nuptials.

Posted by Kat at 11:50 PM


Despite the tremendous exertion of my local post office to the contrary, I was able to acquire my Wedding Skirt.

Ho. Lee. Hell.

It's the single most magical, beautiful, glorious, improbable, and decadent piece of clothing I have ever seen in my life, and I have already declared that should there indeed be an afterlife, I've got my outfit sussed. Truly - this is how I dress in my dreams.

Angela, Angela, Angela...you're truly the stuff of magic, and I'm eternally grateful. In fact, if I possibly can, I'm wearing this for the rest of eternity.

Posted by Kat at 02:04 PM